Pregnant? Buying for someone pregnant? Here is the only guide you'll need!

Something many moms ask is what they need for their baby.  "Need" is subjective.  Babies only "need" a place to sleep, milk/formula, a car seat, and something to poop in.  Really.  Those are the things they NEED.  But there are many products that make it soooooo much easier when you have a baby, or two, or five...  Buying for a baby is so complicated; there are so many options in every price point.  When I shop for baby gear, I always feel like I'm putting a price on my child's safety.  Do your research before you buy and then you'll feel confident in your purchases.  Here is the list I've complied.

A good car seat.  All car seats pass the same safety standards, so that's something, at least.  But, some car seats are safer than others.  Some have features that increase their performance and some are just the basics.  So remember this: the safest seat is the one that's easy for you to use.  If you can't figure it out or it's difficult to adjust or install properly, your child isn't safe regardless of the cost or features of your seat.

My Favorites: I will recommend any Britax seat.  I love the company, I love the quality, and I think they're a moderately priced seat.

My Least Favorite: I will not recommend the Graco Snug Ride.  It's really difficult to adjust the straps, especially if the baby is in the seat and my straps would loosen on their own while in the car.  I stopped using and went right to a convertible seat.

What I Have: We currently use a Britax Boulevard and a Combi Zeus 360.  The quality of the Combi materials blow the Britax out of the water, but I still totally love my Britax.  They do not make the Zeus 360, currently, but they should.  I have a Honda Element and if you've ever seen the back of one, you'd understand that putting a child in a standard rear facing seat is 100% impossible.  The Zeus turns so you can put your child in at any angle, and then rotate it to the back.  It also faces front.  LOVE this seat.

A place to sleep.  This is all preference.  Some people use a bassinett (babies do not like large open spaces, so a standard crib seems scary and they don't sleep well) some people co-sleep.  Whatever, just have a safe place for your baby.

We've used a moses basket, a bassinett, a custom crib, a mini-crib and a standard crib.  We loved each one.  We have an IKEA crib that we modified to fit in Brooke's "room" aka our master closet with a custom mattress from ababy.com, Kendall sleeps in a BabyMod Olivia crib, which we really love.  It was the afordable alternative to the Oeuf crib... if you've seen the Oeuf, you have to be in love with it, so check out BabyMod Olivia.

A moving containment system.  This can be a swing, a bouncer, a spaceship, anything, but you need one.  If you're short on space, look at a Mamaroo, ours was a life saver for the first few months.  And whatever you get, make sure it plugs in.  Don't even mess with batteries... you'll spend so much money on batteries, you could have hired someone to rock your baby 24/7.

A High Chair.  Our girls spent (spend) quite a bit of time in their high chair.  I found one for like $20 randomly when our K-Mart was closing down.  It's a safety 1st and it's been really good to us.  I would recommend one with wheels, but if you don't require it to move at all, then that's probably not important to you.  We also have a folding high chair from IKEA that's been super awesome when we travel or go to dinner at our friends that don't have a high chair.  This is a great addition to our baby stuff.

A pack n' play.  Our kids slept and played in one of these.  Just get one to have on hand.

A stroller.  This is one thing we could probably do without.  We've used it only a handful of times as we used a wrap or soft structured carrier most of the time.  We have The First Years Wave Stroller, which has been discontinued, but seems the JJ Cole Broadway has replaced it.  It's a super luxurious stroller and our kids like it a lot.  It moves like a dream on any surface.  It's big and bulky, but we still really like it.

A carrier or wrap.  See what your baby prefers.  Kendall lived in a Moby/Sleepy wrap and Brooke hated it.  We have an Original Ergo and a Tula.  Both are really nice, but I prefer the Tula.

If you're buying for a cloth diapering family, buy them cloth diapers!  People register for these because they're expensive and no one ever buys them and it's really disappointing.  Believe it or not, to people that cloth diaper, receiving them is an amazing and exciting gift.  Really.  Many diaper companies make trial packages, so you don't really have to put a lot of effort into picking a gift.  GroVia offers an amazing trial package, and all AIO or pocket diapers come with all the things you need to get started.

Other things to consider if you're buying for a fluffy baby, don't buy those cute little outfits, the pants don't fit well over cloth diapers.  If you really want to be helpful, buy Project Pomona pants or stick with cute t-shirts.

I know this next part is going to sound snotty and crass, but it's the truth and it needs to be told.  Do not buy bibs, burp cloths or blankets unless they were specifically asked for.  Parents end up with way too many of these things.  Don't buy things that make noise or heavy toys.  If you buy something that requires batteries, provide them with the gift.  It's just nice gift giving protocol.

Keep in mind, if you buy big ticket items in gender neutral colors, you don't have to buy them again down the road if you have a baby of the opposite gender.  They're also easier to resell or hand down.

Lazy Filing

I mentioned in my last post that I finally tackled the file cabinet.  This has always been the task I dread the most and I never keep up on it, but I save EVERYTHING, so there is always a tons of stuff.  I thought this was going to take me weeks to get done, but it only took me 2 days!  I realized that my file system was too specific and that made it time consuming to file.  I've created a new system I call "Lazy Filing" and I made very general folders that should make it much easier and faster to find and file.

As I said above, I save everything, but I've never actually needed to find anything, so I figured the lazy filing system would be just fine to implement.  I also addressed my need to save everything... it's not necessary, so I've come up with some rules on saving things, especially receipts.  I'll keep receipts  for small items in a holding folder for 30 days.  That should give me enough time to decide to keep the item, or if there are any issues, to return or exchange it.  Big ticket items go right into the file folder and skip the holding folder.

So here's what I've done:

I created new files.
House: I've created a folder for 2010-2015 and a pre 2010 folder and a Misc. folder.  These are for estimates, repairs, inspections & mortgage/insurance info
Medical & Insurance: a folder for 2010-2015 and a pre 2010 folder and a Misc. folder.  Anything related to our medical expenses or insurance goes in these folders.
Receipts
Instructions & Manuals
Car & Life Insurance (these are the same company and billed on the same bill)
Bank & Financial.  Any communication from our bank (other than mortgage info) and any other financial documents
Vet
Cars
Lauren Work.  Paychecks, notices, and any other paperwork.
Lauren 401k
Cory Work.  Paychecks, notices, and any other paperwork.
Cory 401k
Taxes, each year that we have (back to 2000) I know, I know.  But I can't get rid of them.

You could add any other folders that seem relevant to you.  One for your kids for each year.  My kids aren't in school, so anything related to them is a medical statement.

I took a banker's box and put each of these folders in a hanging folder.  I took files out of my cabinet one by one and sorted through each folder, discarding anything I could and filing the papers to keep.  I was able to get rid of quite a bit and got everything in order and it went much faster than I expected.  I then moved these back into the cabinet.  Anything 2014 and 2015 stayed on the top drawer, as did other folders we access often: Receipts, Car & Life, Bank & Financial, Vet, and Work, 401k.  Everything else went to the bottom drawer.  I also put a bright colored hanging folder in the front of each drawer for items that need to be filed that I can't get to right away, that way I'm not just cramming them in random folders like I was before.  I have room to see and open all the folders and it feels great!

The January Cure: Update 2

I'm still going strong on The January Cure and I haven't missed a single assignment.  I'm super proud of that!  Here are my updates:

Assignment Seven: Get your Get Together Together

Since we're not doing a January Cure Get Together, we semi-skipped this.  We are, however, having Brooke's birthday party next month, so we worked on getting that together.  Cory and I discussed the food list and I got the invitations sent out.

Assignment Eight: Surface Sweep

Today's assignment was to take 3 minutes to speed clean an area that needed attention.  I chose the kitchen countertops and the dining table.  Unfortunately, the dining table is once again lost under piles of stuff, but the kitchen counters have stayed clean!

Assignment Nine: Work on your project

I've modified my project a little.  My task was to re-caulk the kitchen countertop where Cory had spilled red kool-aid and it had stained, re-caulk the shower in Kendall's bathroom, and clean and caulk under the cooktop.  I decided it wasn't time effective right now to worry about the kitchen countertop.  It's really well hidden, so it just didn't make sense to remove all that caulk and do it again for an area that's now pink and we can't even see.  I also decided to wait to caulk the shower since we'll be painting that room in the next few months.  I think it really needs me to scrape some chipping paint, maybe even spackle, and then paint the new color and caulk over that.

I did, however, clean and caulk under the cooktop and I'm so wicked excited about it.  When we remodeled our kitchen, I was concerned about putting the cooktop in without anything between it and the countertop.  Everyone told me not to worry about it, but all sorts of nastiness got in between the two and it looked so gross.  Cleaning it was pretty involved... I used a credit card (use an old one) and a wet Viva paper towel to get in between and really clean, then I caulked.  It looks amazing and now I don't have to worry about crumbs and liquid getting stuck in there.

Gross, right?

I thought I had caulk, but I didn't so I used painters tape to protect the edges from more crumbs!

Done!  So pretty and clean!

Assignment Ten: Declutter a Drawer

I went through my two dresser junk drawers and my night stand.  I was able to get rid of more than half of the stuff in them!

Assignment Eleven: Bedroom

I cleaned the bedroom from top to bottom.  I dusted all the furniture with coconut oil, washed the sheets and decluttered.  I wanted to wash the curtains, but Brooke won't sleep without them closed, so I wasn't able to do them.  Maybe on a weekend we can keep her up a long enough to wash and dry them.

Assignment Twelve: Make Tonight a Media Fast

Cory was really against this at first, but about 10 minutes in, he looked at me and said, "This is really nice."  We sat in the living room and read, listened to music, and just plain conversed.  It actually was really nice.

Assignment Thirteen: Cabinet Cleanout

Since I recently cleaned out the vanity in Kendall's bathroom and under the kitchen sink, the only cabinet I had left was the master bathroom.  There is this gross contact paper on the bottom, but we're planning to remodel this entire bathroom soon, so I decided to leave it for now and just washed it down and got rid of the junk.

Assignment Fourteen: Landing Strip
Assignment Fifteen: Clear a Closet
Assignment Sixteen: Living Room

These areas all kind of meshed into one project for me, so I improvised a little bit and was lax with the daily assignments and just mushed these into one large task.  I started with the landing strip, which we have and use, but needed a refresh and a good cleaning out.  The one item with the landing strip project that we were lacking was a place to hang our coats.  We have an entry closet, and a pretty large one, but it's a cluster and it's impossible to get anything in or out of the closet.  I knew that clearing a closet was one of the projects, so I saved this large task for the assignment.  I went through and cleaned off our existing landing strip area.  This also involved another project, which was to clean out my filing cabinet, but I'll post on that separately.  Then I took sections of items out of the entry closet.  I started with all the stuff on the shelves.  I got 4 bins, one for each of us and separated our items into our respective bin.  Anything I wasn't going to keep went into the donate bin.  Then I cleared everything on the floor, next I cleared out and entire column of shoes (this is a big deal for me!) to make room for Cory's bin on the top shelf.  I went to Lowes and got a new shoe shelf and installed that (and man, I did an awesome job!)  I got rid of a ton of purses and bags and put those back nicely on a shelf.  Finally, I reorganized the coats and put some away so we could actually access the coats we need and have room for guests coats.  I'm so happy that this is finally done and I hope that I can keep it up!  I also cleaned out my bedroom closet, which also meant cleaning out my PJ drawer.  Landing strip: Complete.  Closets: Complete.  Then I cleaned up the living room.  Lucky for me my living room is small and there's hardly anything in there.  I dusted the piano and credenza, cleaned off all the TV trays and got rid of some of the larger toys we don't use in here often.

Assignment Seventeen: Catch Up Day

I'm so happy there was a catch up day in here because I really needed it.  I noticed this week that I was starting projects and marking them as complete in my head, but I was leaving stuff all over the house.  I left a section of the landing strip that needed to be filed in the office, a container of "put somewhere else" stuff on the dining table.  So today I'm going around the house and really completing these tasks!

The January Cure: Update 1

We've completed our first full week of January Cure tasks and I wanted to update you on our progress.  It's also really good motivation for me to see it all at once.

Assignment One: Clean Floors

This was a lot more involved than I expected... it took a lot of hard work and sweat, but I vacuumed and steam mopped every surface.  This was a big undertaking, so I guess that's why it was a weekend project.

Assignment Two: Make a List.

We walked through the house and made a list of items that were in need of repair, reorganization or just needed to be cleaned or thrown out.  We have a REALLY detailed list that we made this summer of all the "trouble spots" in our house and what we eventually wanted to do with these spots.  We then input these into a spreadsheet and assigned each task a cost, ease and importance so we could sort by those factors.  I digress.  We made a really basic list this time and didn't include big changes or "would like to see in the future" items.  I also did not include Kendall's room, our room or our bathroom since we will be changing these rooms around soon.

Assignment Three: Set Up an Outbox.

The outbox is a resting place for items with undetermined fates. Per Maxwell, the rules of the outbox are as follows:

OUTBOX RULES

1. Anything can go in the Outbox
2. The Outbox is allowed to get messy
3. Everything must stay in the Outbox for at least one week
4. After that time you have several choices
a. Take anything back out
b. Leave anything you are undecided about for one more week
c. Dispose of the rest by moving to the garbage, recycling bin, or giveaway pile
Once you get used to separating first and disposing of later, you'll find that clearing clutter gets easier and easier.

The purpose of the outbox is to put all the items together in one place that's allowed to get messy and void of the pressure to make a decision right away. The item sits in the outbox and loses it's hold over you as it sits. Once the week has passed, you no longer feel the connection to the item and can easily make a choice. I like the idea that you are forced to make a decision about the item within a week. I put something in there that I semi know what I need to do, but haven't quite set aside the time to figuring it out.

Assignment Four: Purge the Pantry.
Ugh. This was something that really needed to be done but I'd been avoiding for a really long time. I'm not sure why, I just really dreaded dealing with it. It wasn't that bad, it wasn't that difficult and it really didn't take that much time. I feel so much better now that I organized our pantry.

Assignment Five: 10 Minute Observations & Select a Project From Your List.
I've wanted to rearrange the living room area for a while, so I spent a lot of time sitting in different spots with different views of the room, REALLY looking at it and thinking of the function and flow. I thought I had a really good idea, which we tried this weekend and it was so awful, but at least I know and I have an idea of how I want it to look when we move the TV downstairs.
We chose 3 projects from our list. One for me: Re-caulking the kitchen and guest bathroom. One for Cory: Fish Tank Situation. And one for the both of us: Replace the thresholds in the entry.

Assignment Six: Kitchen.
Luckily for me, I'd recently cleaned out the oven, cooktop, microwave and refrigerator and I'd rearranged and purged the cabinets, so this wasn't too bad of an assignment. I cleaned out the junk drawer and I'm amazed at how much was in there and how much of it was junk or belonged elsewhere! I scrubbed down all the cabinets and handles, cleaned the tile and grout lines and cleaned off the countertops and scrubbed them. I'm so happy with how my kitchen looks!

New Year, New Home

I don't make New Year's Resolutions.  I just don't like to set myself up for disappointment.  I don't mean to sound lame, but I know I'm not going to follow through on most of these forced cliches, so why bother?  I'm not going to work out, regularly, for the rest of the year.  I'm not going to diet.  BUT, I think a new year is a good time to evaluate your life and make a fresh start.  I know it sounds kind of the same, but it's totally different.  

I'm going to assume since you're reading my blog, that you have kids, so your kids toys are probably a huge problem.  We have so many toys... SO MANY TOYS!

So this year, we're getting rid of all the shit that we've been tripping over for the past few years. 

Am I going to be a minimalist?  Yes and no.  I love stuff.  I mean, I really LOVE stuff.  Nice stuff.  I want to spend my money on the best.  And that doesn't mean the most expensive.  The "best" is relative to each of us.  For me, it's a balance of quality, cost, and necessity.  It may be different for you.  I want to live a practical minimalism lifestyle.  I say practical because I like gadgets that make my life easier and I want to balance stuff with ease.  I don't NEED most of the stuff we have, but it sure does make things easier and faster.  Time with my family is something I value above anything else, so I won't sacrifice a tool that helps me achieve more time.  

My main hurdle is the fact that I'm frugal.  I'm cheap as shit.  If it's something I can use later and not have to rebuy, I'll save it.  I have to stop.  For the longest time I thought minimalism and frugality were the same, or went hand-in-hand.  It's just not at all the case.  While you can be both, I think you need to understand what drives both lifestyles and find your own balance.  I'll tell you about mine down below.  

After Christmas is a really good time to start this purge as we're struggling to find places for our new stuff.  Cory and I have always been very particular about the items we bring into our home, especially for our kids.  How can I say this nicely?  Most of the time our families, not so much.  And I get it, people love to buy stuff for other people - especially the girls.  It's just not us.  I feel like a big snob when I say this, but I HATE everything.  Seriously.  I hate crappy toys, I hate toys that make noise, I hate any movie/tv merchandise, I hate clothing with words on them, I hate toys that don't encourage creative play.  I know, it sounds awful and I sound like a total bitch.  Here's the thing, I just think toys are crappy.  Some of Kendall's favorite and most used toys are her easel, play kitchen and blocks.  Brooke's favorite?  A pill bottle filled with change.  So I'm going to share my cut-throat method for weeding out toys.  Here is a list of things I secretly hide away: 

• Anything I hate. 
• Anything that makes noise.
• Anything that they can't play with on their own.
• Anything with missing/broken pieces.
• Anything with a lot of pieces that never stay together, anyway. 
• Anything too young/too old.
• Anything too messy. 
• Anything at the bottom of the toy box.

I said it was cut-throat.  I was serious.  I take these toys and toss the ones that really just need to go (missing/broken pieces) and I put the rest in a "holding cell" for later review.  If the offspring ask for the toy, I suggest they look for it.  If they don't really look or don't ask again, I toss the toy.  If they really look or ask again, I bring it back out.  I should also say, I don't take away toys that they love, even if I hate them.  I'm not that cold.  But I am pretty brutal about the things I remove.  Most of the time they never notice.  Full disclosure, I had put away all of these toys to donate in a big tub in the basement since we never go down there, but Cory set up a TV and VCR and he spends a ton of time down there with the girls now so they discovered the toys.  I don't really care because they're out of sight, but I will put all these back in the donate box and take them away someday soon!

The kids toys aren't the only thing that I'm fed up with.  We have way too much stuff and most of it is mine.  I identified the areas I struggle with: Bathroom Stuff.  Make up, shampoo, skin care, other bath stuff...  So with the make up, shampoo and skin care, I have to take 100% of the blame.  I'm using one product when I see another that promises to work better, so I buy it, even though I still have half full bottles of the old stuff.  Then it happens all over again.  I never buy bath/smelly stuff for myself because I never use it, but when I get it as gifts, it just sits there.  So I'm initiating the "Use it or Lose it" Campaign.  All half full bottles are to be used, at every opportunity until they're empty.  This appeases both urges to be frugal and get rid of extra stuff.  

I wrote above about finding the balance between those two ideas: Frugality and Minimalism.  This is really personal.  I keep things around for "just in case" purposes.  Clothing tags, gas receipts, instructions for everything we own, old socks.  The only thing I've ever used again are instructions, but only for electronics.  To satisfy my "just in case" mentality, I have started putting all of that stuff in a holding container for 30 days.  If I didn't need it, it goes in the trash.  That's my balance.  

I also decided that for my craft supplies, if I don't have a clear purpose for something, it goes.  This is not to include fabric (but does include items I'm saving for the fabric and before you roll your eyes, I made this shirt for Brooke from a pair of pajama pants), ribbon or things like glue, markers etc.  

What works for me isn't what works for Cory.  We put personal limitations on our criteria to toss because we both view this differently.  We also agreed when we made our personal guidelines that it needs to follow a certain path and we are allowed to keep an object we LOVE regardless if it meets any of the other criteria.  The first question we ask is, "Do I love this item?"  If the answer is yes, you can keep it.  If the answer is no, then we ask ourselves, "Does this item improve my life?"  If the answer is yes, the item stays but if the answer is no, we ask, "What purpose does this item have and would I miss it if it were gone?"  And there is no judgement on what we keep or toss.  

If you think you'd like to get rid of some of your stuff, you can follow my suggestions.  I also suggest starting in a few places in your home.  These seem to be the areas where most stuff just accumulates and it's the easiest to clean out.  

Kitchen: Duplicates (do you really need 3 sets of measuring spoons?) and seldom used items

Bathroom: Half used items, old make up, stretched out hair ties (or is this just me?)

Bedroom: Worn, outdated or (sorry) ill-fitting clothing, worn socks, jewelry, mismatched bedding

Office: Mail, magazines, instructions, pens that no longer work - why do we keep these and why are they the only ones I grab when I really need a pen?!

Toys!  

Garage: Seldom used sports equipment, old paint

I'm also taking advantage of Apartment Therapy's January Cure, which we've done for the past 3 years.  I encourage you to try this out (any time of the year) because it's a really good and doable way to get your home in tip-top shape. and we're only 2 assignments in, so there is time to catch up!  I like to do this in the same notebook from year to year because it's a really good feeling to see what improvements we've made through the years and how many of the items on our lists have been completed.  I'll try to do a weekly post to document our progress.  

I really hope this encourages you to be happier in your space!  

Trial Wash Routine #739953029154

So, not really.  But I was noticing an odor when Brooke peed in her diapers.  At first I thought it was the smell of her urine mixing with the detergent, so I switched to Tide from Purex F&C and I didn't notice it again for a while, but then it came back.  It's not ammonia nor the dreaded barnyard.  Just a funk.  I did a strip... I was really scared about doing it, but I bit the bullet and went for it.

I filled my tub about half way with hot water and added 3 tablespoons of borax, washing soda and calgon (now I see they're suggesting to add your detergent, too) and I added all my GroVia inserts (I didn't do the shells) and then all my pocket diapers and inserts.  I let them soak for about 6 hours, until the water was cool.  I stirred every 45-60 minutes.  Then I rinsed, and put them in a cold bleach soak (again, water half way full and 1/2 cup bleach) and I stirred these every 10 minutes for 30 minutes, then a hot rinse and wash cycle.

I have moderately hard water (7 on the scale) so here is my new wash routine:
Warm gentle cycle with Tide to line 1
Hot extra heavy cycle with Tide to line 2 and a cap full of calgon
NO MORE EXTRA RINSE

If I can manage, I think I'm going to try to do a pre-rinse rather than the cycle.  My machine is about as basic as they come, so it takes some finagling.  Calgon is wicked expensive, so I'm hoping that by adding it to my main wash only that I'm keeping any mineral deposits at bay.

WISH ME LUCK!

P.S.  I really like the original Tide, but Amazon subscribe & save doesn't have the original scent, so I bought the mountain something scent, thinking "how bad could this possibly be?"  Well, it's bad.  In my opinion.  I hate it.  Cory likes it, but it almost makes me nauseous.  I guess I'll just have to deal with going to the store to get my calgon and Tide in bulk so I have a few months worth.

My best advice for parents

It seems like everyone is always asking "what's the best piece of advice you can give?"  Every baby shower I go to, people ask, every time I talk to a new or to-be new parent.  I never like to say something generic, I think that people deserve a real answer so here is mine: Don't have a birth plan.

I can feel you Type-A's committing mental suicide at that thought.  "Not have a birth plan?  Are you crazy?!"  I know.  I know.  You've spend the past few months (at least) preparing for that little human to enter this world, how could you possibly NOT prepare for their actual birth?  So just hear me out.

If you're a first time parent, you've probably looked at the multi-page birth plans and were a bit overwhelmed with all the options and you started to imagine how your birth would go.  Well, here's a secret, if you've had 0 or 10 babies, each birth is going to be different.  The mood you're in, the mood your partner is in, the staff, the time of day, whatever... it's all going to influence the way you feel when you get down to it.  My problem with a birth plan is that it gets people set up for disappointment, anxiety and sometimes anger.  If you have an idea of what it's going to be like and things aren't going that way, many women find themselves experiencing those feelings.  Not to burst your bubble, but the rest of your life is going to be dictated by that little human.  What you eat, when you can go to the bathroom, what you wear, when you sleep, how you spend your money.  I mean it.  EVERYTHING.  You'd better just get used to it now and realize that your baby is going to dictate how it comes into this world and everything else thereafter.

So stop putting pressure on yourself to perfect your birth plan.  Stop wasting time googling labor positions.  Just stop.  Let your baby and your body rule the moment - it will be right and it will be perfect.

I know this from experience.  When I had Kendall, I was in the hospital about 6 hours before she was born.  I really wanted to labor in the labor pool, but she had to be monitored closely so I couldn't.  I didn't want medication, but after 3.5 hours, I gave in (the hospital staff never pushed medication on me, but I trusted them and when they recommend it a second time, based on my situation, I gave it more thought and eventually gave in and I'm glad I did.) I was allowed to push sitting, standing, on my side, which I found the most comfortable.  They gave me ice chips and didn't make me wear the oxygen mask.  Both Kendall and I had unexpected complications: Kendall spent almost a week in the NICU and I hemorrhaged really badly.  But, I relaxed and I trusted the staff.  They were supportive and gentile and just what I needed.

With Brooke, I was there less than 15 minutes.  No one asked me anything - they just went to work.  They moved me, they tried to get my clothes off, they didn't ask how I wanted to push, they didn't ask if I wanted the lights low or the music on.  There was no time for an epidural and they made me keep that f'ing mask on!  And it was just what I needed.

The point is that my two kids were totally different and not what I expected.  I went in with an open mind and I relied on my body and the hospital staff to lead my labor and both were absolutely amazing experiences.

Put down the birth plan.  Expect the unexpected and know that things aren't going to go the way you plan (and if they do, buy a lottery ticket!)  Get used to that kid dictating the rest of your life.  Embrace the spontaneity of life, trust yourself to listen to your body and be open to everything.  I promise you'll be just fine!